I’m gonna miss u so much 

who is going to turn off the lights at night , who is going to cook for me , who is going to stay in the room with me when the world is being a bitch , who is going to listen to my suckish guitar playing , who is going to come home at 4am , who am I going to worry about ?

The thing I liked best about home is you; because you make the house home.

you are so annoying and stupid and cock but I love you

study hard bitch and come back fast

feels like a demonic possession alright

you know what it feels like ?

It feels like there are 7 bloody demons in your body and you have lost control of yourself- or maybe you are already the 7 demons

how I wish I was an exorcist so I can fucking cleanse your dirty and corrupted soul 

you are blinded by the devil- oh how I can see your eyes filled with dirt and hate. your heart darken by sins , the colour of it so black it’s like a black hole sucking in all the light in the world. your body contorted and twisted in every inhuman shape and form.

who are you? 

” the devil”

lol I’m not fucking surprised



A passage of joy 

To the man I never met alive , thank you for you. 

I can imagine how you looked when you first adopted hannah. Your loving glaze on this chubby stranger ,your heart vowing to love and cherish her even though she couldnt promise you the same then. How you had already fulfilled one of God’s greatest commandments since young – to love your neighbor as yourself.

 People like you are so honestly hard to find nowadays. People that are so loving and so ready to give. 

I can tell you raised hannah with love. Because I know her and I know she is of someone who has wonderful values and a kind heart. So thank you for that –  for giving and loving 

I hope she remembers that you are always with her , through all her struggles and achievements. And I know that you are so proud of her because I am also so proud of her.  

Have a good day in heaven mr lim 🙂 

Hannah and I see you some day 

I had a nightmare. I’m stressed. I’m hiding everything. I just want comfort.

Longing for comfort , I realized how distant I was from you lord. How for these past few days , I get too lazy to say compline at night and forget pray to you daily. How I chose to sin over and over again ; how fucked up I am and my life is. I’m scared 

Let me long you and only you. You created the mountains and the skies , you know me before I was even born , you know my future and you will keep me safe if I follow you.  So I pray that you will let me follow you, because I know with you , everything is going to be alright 

I love you 

There’s a time for everything 

3 There is a time for everything,    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,

    a time for war and a time for peace.

There’s a time for everything like how God has a plan for everyone of us. A time to be seirous and a time to play. A time to discipline yourself and a time to let go and relax. And it’s up to us to accept the timing that we need to follow and discipline ourselves to stick to that timetable. 

I have been pushing back his timing for so long – wanting to do what I want

And I have finally woke up from my virtual world of butterflies and fairies

There’s a time for everything and is time to listen , focus and forget

🙂 wish me luck 

Unfinished business

I didn’t want to write anything cos my thoughts were always everywhere, but who cares at this point

The glass so empty you could hear the air echoing in it. It gets emptier and emptier as people pour more and more jugs of air into it-hoping to fill it.

Only his blood can fill the cup

idk how my thoughts goes on from here

a list to consider

1. You’ve had to tell him more than once to stop.
2. You feel the need to “fix” him.
3. He looks at pornography.
4. He hits you, pushes you, or does anything to frighten you.
5. He has a drinking or drug problem.
6. He doesn’t care if you lie to your family.
7. He leads you away from God.
8. He puts you down- even if he then says he’s “just kidding.”
9. He cheats on you.
10. He lies to you.
11. He flirts with other girls.
12. He uses guilt to get you to do what he wants.
13. He resents time you spend with your friends and family.
14. He behaves badly and then blames it on other people or on things that happen to him.
15. He can’t stand on his own two feet without you; he emotionally unable to function by himself.
16. You can’t stay with him and remain pure.”

Jason & Crystalina Evert and Brian Butler, Theology of the Body for Teens: Student Workbook

my favourite reading

MT 8:23-27
As Jesus got into a boat, his disciples followed him.
Suddenly a violent storm came up on the sea,
so that the boat was being swamped by waves;
but he was asleep.
They came and woke him, saying,
“Lord, save us! We are perishing!”
He said to them, “Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?”
Then he got up, rebuked the winds and the sea,
and there was great calm.
The men were amazed and said, “What sort of man is this,
whom even the winds and the sea obey?”


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